Herbert the Bear

(Try telling this story with your tongue tucked under your bottom lip, as if lisping, for a heightened effect of humor.)

Hi. My name is Suzie and I live in a big house near the woods with my mommy, my daddy, my little brother and Herbert. He’s our pet bear. One day I went into the woods to pick some flowers. When I came home I said hi to my mommy and I went and said hi to my daddy and I pet Herbert, but I couldn’t find my little brother anywhere! Then I saw Herbert smile. Herbert had eaten my little brother! Oh, I was so mad! I said, “Herbert, don’t you ever do that again.”

Well, the next day, I went into the woods to pick some more flowers. When I came home I said hi to my mommy and I pet Herbert, but I couldn’t find my daddy anywhere. Then I saw Herbert smile. Herbert had eaten my daddy! Oh, I was so mad, I was furious! I said, “Herbert, don’t you ever do that again!”

The next day, I went for another walk in the woods to pick flowers. When I came home I patted Herbert on the head but I couldn’t find my mommy anywhere! Herbert just smiled and sat there looking big and fat. Herbert had eaten my mommy! l was so mad! I was so mad I was just furious! I said, “Herbert, don’t you ever do that again!”

So the next day I went to pick flowers again. When I came home, there was my mommy, my daddy, my little brother and there was Herbert, just smiling. I was so surprised, I asked my mommy what happened. She said, “Herbert burped!”

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